Halloween: Throwback Thursday Style

Wow, October is over. The year is almost over. Where does the time go? 

Since today is Halloween and it's Thursday, I thought I'd do a little Throwback Thursday post. Here's my  Halloween Throwback Thursday Edition. I'm going to share some throwback pictures of me in some of my favorite Halloween costumes through the years.

My First Halloween

Yes, my mother dressed me as a devil for my first Halloween.

Coolest Characters from My Childhood

I loved ninja turtles when I was younger, so I needed to be one for Halloween.

The Year of the Lost Accessory

The year I was a princess, I went to a Halloween party and lost my magical wand. I was devastated. My mom worked hard gluing that glittery star cut out to that stick. (And my brother is a female kangaroo.)

The Recycled Costume

This year I was a butterfly in a play at church. Naturally, that meant I also was a butterfly for Halloween. 

The Only Time I was a Cheerleader

High socks, pigtails, and all!

Flashback to the 50s

I remember thinking this was one of the best costumes ever. I loved having my own poodle skirt. I even wore it to school. 

I'm Too Old to Buy a Costume but...

I was starting to get to that age where I didn't want to be too into Halloween because that wasn't cool, but I still wanted to participate. I think I'm my dad....he worked at Sony and works with tools. 

Ballin'

For a church carnival, my mom and I raided my brother's basketball stuff. We were in character because we were running the basketball game at the carnival. 

Meet the Flinstones

This costume served me well for 2 years. This is the last time I really dressed up for Halloween. 

What's one of your favorite Halloween costumes that you dressed up in?

The Evolution of Facebook

I feel like I've seen so many posts about Facebook lately. It's really been making me do some serious thinking about my social media use. My first use of social media was Xanga and then Myspace. Although, in those days the internet was dial up so you could only be on for a limited time. I never would have guessed that the internet would take over our lives as it has. Using social media has just become a normal part of everyday life. Most people can access the internet any time they'd like through their smart phones.

This easy accessibility has definitely made me do some reflecting on my own internet usage and how I want to use the internet and social media in my future.

I'm going to focus mainly on Facebook since that's the social media site I've had the longest and it's the one I've used the most. Before I start, you have to watch this funny video that shows how ridiculous some things we do on Facebook are in real life.

                                                     
College Facebook Days (Play by Play)

 I got a Facebook account during my freshman year of college-2006. Back when you had to have a student email address to join. During this time, I "friended" anybody and everybody. We have a class together-friend. I was introduced to you once-friend. We're both in the band-friend. You went to the same high school as me-friend. Every time I logged on, I had tons of notifications because we were constantly writing on each other's wall. I felt the need to update my status about EVERYTHING.



--(One of my first profile pics from a silly photo shoot day with friends)


 
Megan is eating mac and cheese for dinner.

Megan is watching A Knight's Tale.

Megan is heading to band practice.

Megan is studying for her history final.

Megan is excited that class was cancelled.

You know what I'm talking about. Facebook was used as a way to give a PLAY BY PLAY of my every move and thought. This was the way I used Facebook all throughout college. I thought every thought and action needed to be shared with hundreds of my "friends." I took pictures with the thought of this will be good for Facebook. I did things because they would make good statuses. I don't necessarily regret all of this. Facebook was new. I was away at college. It was a great way to transition to being away from home. I could still share everything with my friends and family and they could share everything with me.

Young Adult Facebook Days (Highlight Reel)

Slowly, things began to change around Facebook. Many young people were no longer using it. You pretty much had two categories of people. People who continued to constantly use Facebook by updating statuses and sharing things (mostly older people) and people who barely used it (younger people). I stopped updating several times a day and might only update once a day or a few times a week. I stopped sharing every little thing and only shared the big things-the HIGHLIGHTS.


--(Profile pic from school picture day my first year as a teacher.)



I'm back in Alabama for Christmas.

I'm thankful to have been offered a teaching job.

Please pray for Lee we're back in the hospital. 

It's snowing!

Roll Tide! Alabama won another National Championship!

You know. The important stuff. I continued to share pictures. To me, Facebook is a great way to make sure your pictures are backed up. I slowly stopped writing on people's walls as much and they stopped writing on mine. If I needed to contact someone, I'd send them a private message.


Currently (Advertisements)

--(Current profile pic that hasn't changed in 2 months)


This all brings me to how I currently use Facebook. I still post most of my pictures on there. I love pictures and this is just one more way I know they're backed up in case anything every happens. However as I scroll through my timeline, most of what I see is articles or posts I've shared, books I've read via my connection to Goodreads, or videos I've enjoyed. It's like my Facebook has turned into a place for me to ADVERTISE things I love or am passionate about. Nobody writes on my wall. I don't write on anyone else's. Most of the people who "like" my posts aren't really close friends. They're more like acquaintances. I hardly ever comment or interact in any way with other people. It's really had me asking recently-what's the point?

For me, I don't think I want to give Facebook up completely. I do live 10 hours away from friends and family. So, it is a way for me to kind of keep up with them and for them to keep up with me. It's almost like a security net that I just need to know is there. Let's face it, though, the people you truly want to keep up with and the ones who want to keep up with you will with or without Facebook.

So, here's what I'm doing right now to limit Facebook in my life:

-Cutting my friends list down dramatically. I started doing this slowly and have already unfriended a couple hundred people. I currently still have 363 friends. I don't know that many people well nor do I want to share my life with that many people. So, I'm going to continue to cut that list. I want to limit my friends list to family and people I truly am friends with. If I wouldn't share it with you in person, I no longer want to share it with you on the Internet. This is difficult for me for 2 main reasons: first of all, I'm nosey and want to see what other people are doing and secondly, I don't want people to be offended. I know that's stupid and I am getting better at unfriending people.

-Not checking Facebook every day. Nobody is that interesting that I need to check what they're up to every single day or several times a day. I go through spells where I don't check Facebook all week and then other times I'm checking it constantly. Usually when I'm checking it constantly, it's because I"m bored. So, I need to find other things to fill my time.

-Not over-sharing. I do pretty well with this one already. I hardly ever share things on Facebook anymore. I basically just want to be more aware of what I'm sharing. People don't need a play by play. I want to find a nice balance of sharing the highlights (because my friends list will soon be down to people that I truly care about knowing these things) and sharing great posts, videos, etc. (because social media can be a great tool for spreading the word about something worthwhile.)

-Keep some things sacred. A few months ago, I came across this post from DoubleeBlessedMom. She wrote it to moms, but I honestly think it could apply to anyone. #5 really stuck with me. Social media can prevent us from living in the moment. Similarly, Lee and I have already had a lot of discussions about how we'll handle social media when we have children. I won't share on that now since we don't and that could be a whole post in itself, but it's something to think about.

What are your views on Social Media? Do you have rules for yourself about your usage?  

This was definitely one of those pictures taken because "I can make it my profile picture on Facebook."

Ornaments for Adoption: Positive Adoption Language

Happy Monday! It's Ornaments for Adoption time! Again thank you so much to each of you who've commented, encouraged, shared, and ordered ornaments.

This week's ornament orders get you a chance to win lip gloss and lip liner from Mary Kay consultant, Kelly. The more ornaments you order, the more chance you have to win. Erin won 2 weeks in a row!

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I read a lot of blog posts and articles about adoption. One of the things I come across often is the "things not to say to adoptive parents" posts or something similar. Some people's posts can be downright mean about it. I understand that it has to be frustrating to be asked the same things over and over again or to have the same things said to you all the time-especially when those things aren't said in the best way. However, one day I came across a post on this topic that I thought was written very well. She spoke of treating others with grace and instead of trashing them, we should educate them. I wish I could remember where I read this post, so I could give this person credit and link it here for you to read.

Now I'm not an adoptive parent, but I hope to be one day. So as I already mentioned, I read a lot of things about adoption. One of the purposes of Ornaments for Adoption is to raise adoption and orphan care awareness. I think one thing that others can be educated on is the type of language that can be viewed as negative and more positive language to use in regards to adoption. 

Don't you want your own children?

The Problem: This question is most likely to be the first thing you're asked if you choose to adopt and don't already have biological children.This can be hurtful for many reasons. First of all, there's a strong chance the couple is unable to have biological children. Maybe they have an official diagnosis from a doctor or maybe they've just been trying for a while and have been unsuccessful. You can bring up that pain when you ask that question. Maybe that's not the case, though, and the couple just feels led to start their family in a nontraditional way. So, it can also be hurtful in the sense that you're implying that a child or children they adopt will not be their own child. We understand what you mean, but it's best not to ask.

The Solution: Honestly, I don't think it's really anyone's business whether a couple plans to have biological children or not. They're making a beautiful decision to take in someone else's biological child as their own. Some people do seek adoption as an alternative when they're unable to have biological children. Some people choose adoption rather than having biological children or along with having biological children. I love the saying love makes a family. As I said, we know what you mean when you ask this, but my suggestions would be not to ask it at all. Instead, tell them "congratulations" just like you would if someone came to you telling you they're pregnant.

What about their real parents?

The Problem: This question may be asked in a variety of ways, such as "Do you know their real parents?" or " Will they ever meet their real parents?" It may even be asked more specifically of their "real mother" or "real father." This can be hurtful because you're insinuating that the people who are raising them are some type of fake parents. You're implying that because their family is different, it's not a real family. I would think this could be especially harmful if the child hears others asking this question. It could cause them to question their family and maybe feel like there's something wrong with it.

The Solution: A better way to refer to the "real parents" is by calling them birth parents (birth mom or birth dad) or biological parents (biological mother or biological father). Those people are a critical part of that child's life and shouldn't be ignored; but in the end, the real parents are the parents who are raising and parenting that child on a day to day basis.

Is that your adopted child?

The Problem: Adoption is a process (a noun). Adopted or adopting is a verb. Adopted should not be used as an adjective to describe a child. As stated in both sections above, once a child is through the adoption process, they are simply a child in a family. They may have come into that family in a different way, but it doesn't make them any less of a part of that family. Referring to a child as "adopted child" can make them feel like their in a lower standing than a biological child.

The Solution: This isn't something that should be discussed in front of the child. If you're truly curious about adoption, you could ask about the child the family adopted. For the most part, though, there should be no distinction amongst children and how they came to be in the family. You don't refer to biological children as "biological children" or as "birth children." They're simply a person's children and children who are adopted are as well.

Why did his/her parents give him/her up?

The Problem: When you say you give something up, it's usually something you don't want. It usually has a negative connotation to it. Most of the time birth parents have made a very difficult decision, not because they don't want their child but because they know that for whatever reason they can't take care of him or her. We often have a very negative view of people who "give up" their children. We forget what a hard decision this must be. Many birth parents probably sacrifice what they want for what they think will be best for their child. I'm sure that many children who are adopted or are available for adoption already feel neglected and unwanted.

The Solution: Instead of saying a child was given up, you can say they were placed for adoption, another family was chosen to parent them, or their birth parents chose to make an adoption plan. Again, this is not something that should be discussed in front of the child.

It comes down to thinking about what you say before you say it. Make sure your words match your intent. Adoption shouldn't be treated as something strange and unusual. It's just a different way of creating a family, but it's still creating a family none the less. If you're honestly curious about adoption, I don't think it hurts to ask questions of families who have adopted. If I'm ever unsure of how to say something, I preface it by saying "I'm not sure if this is the right way to say this..." Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and think of how it will make them feel. On the other hand, if you're just trying to be nosey or rude, it might be best not to say anything at all.

What other negative expressions related to adoption would you wish to educate people on?