Journey to Motherhood

A little over a year ago, I came across the blog Adoption Love and started following along. In that year, their family has adopted an adorable little girl and I've enjoyed reading their journey.

I even made two adorable ornaments for them last year during Ornaments for Adoption.

Kristen decided to host an Adoption link up so that adoptive families can "meet" and connect with one another.

So, I know adoption is something I've written about on here a lot. However, I thought I'd give a recap or our journey and throughout, I'll link other posts I've written if anyone is interested in reading more details. 

Where did it begin?

I'd say it was early 2012, when God really began to work in my life and show me that there are a lot of hurting people in this world and I have the means to help them. Not only did I want to help them, but I learned that Scripture instructed me to help them. In March of that year, I read a book (Kisses from Katie) that really changed my life. Shortly after that while browsing on Pinterest, I was lead to a blog post about orphans and adoption. (I can't link the blog post because it is now private.) I remember sitting on my couch crying at the thought of all these children without families. God broke my heart and I wanted to do something to help. At the time, I was trying to start an Etsy business and decided to try and sell headbands to help an adoptive family raise money. This was very unsuccessful and I took it kind of hard, but it didn't stop me from wanting to help. I almost became obsessed with reading about adoptive families and orphans. I was donating money left and right to adopting families or buying the items they were selling to raise money.

Did we feel called to adopt?

For a while, I just focused on helping other families who were adopting. I didn't give it too much thought as something we would do. At this time, my husband was a part time youth pastor at a church that was about an hour drive from where we were living. Every Sunday, we did a lot of driving and had a lot of time to talk. I can remember driving to church and just kind of blurting out "I think we should adopt." I think I even surprised myself in saying this. Unknowingly, God had been working in both of our hearts through my new-found passion for adoption to lead us to consider adopting. We decided that we would adopt regardless of whether or not we were able to have biological children. Throughout the next year, God continued to work out this desire in our hearts and I have shared in the past why adoption is important to me and how adoption plays into my testimony.

What is Ornaments for Adoption?

As I mentioned, in early 2012 I had a failed attempt to raise money for an adopting family. Later that year, this idea hit me. I could make ornaments to sell and raise money for an adopting family. I liked this idea because it was a seasonal thing, so it wouldn't be overwhelming to take on. Plus, ornaments are something people are always buying. I first presented the idea in September 2012. I also decided to share an adoption related post every Monday while I was selling ornaments. Overall, the first year was a success. I revamped some things to make it better in 2013 and OFA 2013 was also successful. I'm not sure what will happen this year. I'm still thinking it through. 

When did we begin the adoption process?  

In summer 2013, my husband and I began discussing starting the adoption process ourselves. I admit, it took me a while to get started because I didn't really know where to start. We told our families in September what we were doing and we started the process in October by applying to the Children's Home Society. Our application was approved and we met our social worker within the next month. We had a few more paperwork things we could do, but due to the holidays coming up we wouldn't be able to do much else until early 2014. During that waiting time, we took care of some paperwork things. The CHS requires people adopting from foster care to take about 30 hours worth of classes as well as being CPR/1st aid certified. So, in February we began these classes and they pretty much consumed every Tuesday and Thursday evening as well as a few Saturdays. We were very busy. On top of that, we moved to a new apartment in order to have a second bedroom for our future child (or children). There was also a lot of snow this past winter, so school for me kept getting cancelled and some of our classes had to be cancelled and rescheduled.

Where are we now?

Along with everything else we were doing in February, we also conceived a child. After our classes at CHS were through, I noticed my period was late and took a pregnancy test at the very beginning of March. It was positive and I couldn't believe it. So, we had to put our adoption on hold for now. It is still something we hope to do one day. We also have begun talking about not only adopting, but becoming foster parents as well. For now, we're focusing on the November arrival of our little girl. Until the time is right for us, I will continue to be an advocate for orphans, children in foster care, and adoption. I hope once things settle down, we can go back to doing some volunteer work for a local organization that focuses on foster care adoption. I also want to continue to support adopting families through our own giving and through Ornaments for Adoption.

I'm also linking up here:

Finding out about Baby Hall

The post I shared on Friday was the last post I wrote about our adoption. Today I want to share what happened after that and how we found out about Baby Hall.

For foster care adoption, we had to attend 30 hours of MAPP classes. So, we basically had classes 3 days a week. Tuesday and Thursday from 6:30-9:30 and some Saturdays from 9:00-4:00. Needless to say, February was VERY busy. We also had several days of snow during February and I missed several days of school. Despite being busy, we still managed to enjoy celebrating both Lee's and my birthday (even though we had MAPP class on my birthday).

 Taking a CPR class

Celebrating Lee's birthday

Enjoying one of the many snow days 

We had class on my birthday and Lee had to arrive after work, so I "enjoyed" a quick (not so healthy) birthday dinner on my own (little did I know I wasn't really on my own)

Shortly after finishing MAPP classes, I noticed my period was late. I didn't think too much of it because that has happened plenty of times before. I decided if it still hadn't started by the first Monday of my track out, I'd take a pregnancy test. I'm tracked out for most of March and that first Monday came and still no period. So, I dug out an old pregnancy test I had and I really didn't expect anything of it. 

Lee was sitting on the couch eating breakfast and I walked in there to him and we were both pretty shocked to see this: 

I had always said I wouldn't be one of those people who took a bunch of pregnancy tests. I thought one would be enough. But I was in disbelief. Plus I'd convinced myself it may be defective since it expired in February and it was now a few days into March. So later that day, I bought two different kinds of tests and took one of each. 

I scheduled a doctor's appointment for later that week and took a test a day until the day of my appointment. Then, of course, they gave me a test too. In all, I took 5 at home pregnancy tests. 

We went ahead and told our parents the night of the doctor's appointment. Since we live far away, we used Facetime and this picture frame to tell them:

(first comes love...then comes marriage...then comes.... not the best thing in the world, but we threw it together last minute)

In mid April, we had our first big doctor's appointment and we got to see the baby and hear its heartbeat.

After that appointment, I told my coworkers, best friend, and extended family. A few weeks later, I announced it to my friends. 

I'm glad to be past the first trimester. I have now heard Baby Hall's heartbeat twice and I look forward to seeing s/he again and finding out if it is a boy or girl. 

Baby Hall's Story:During the Waiting Time....

All this week, I've shared how we were originally pursuing adoption and then we found out we were expecting. Even though we had to stop our adoption, I still want to share our experience.

This was written in January of this year:

After we met our social worker, we came upon the holiday season. So, it put us in our first waiting period. To adopt from foster care or to be foster parents you have to be licensed and one of the things you have to do to get licensed is take MAPP classes. Because of the holidays, there were no MAPP classes coming up until January.

During this waiting time, we tried to get some things done. We both went to get our fingerprints done. We contacted friends about being our references. We had another meeting with our social worker. We sent her photographs of our diplomas. We both began filling out our 30 page autobiography form. We still have a lot of little things to do.

The biggest thing we did during our waiting time was move. We were living in a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment owned by the seminary. Because we were in seminary housing, there were certain things we couldn't have or do that we wanted. Plus, our rent would go up once Lee graduates (which we hope will be in May). So, we'd been looking for a new apartment for a while. Unfortunately, an apartment we could afford that had what we wanted and was in a good location was hard to come by.

We actually weren't actively looking when Lee stumbled upon an ad for an apartment. He went to look at it and learn more and liked it a lot. I went to look the next day and loved it. We had some bumps along the way, but we finally got it all worked out and moved.

(last selfie in our old apartment)

Now, this move is also related to our adoption. In our old apartment, the 2nd bedroom was where we stored all of our extra stuff. To prepare for our adoption, we were going to have to find somewhere else to keep that stuff. This probably would have involved renting a storage unit. Our new apartment is about 300 square feet bigger than our old apartment and it has a large storage room! We will be able to get all our stuff in the apartment while keeping the 2nd bedroom open for our future child(ren).

(saying goodbye to our old apartment)

During this time, we got the MAPP class schedule and Lee got it worked out with his boss to be able to attend. The first class was supposed to be the last week of January, but due to snow it was canceled.

To be continued...

Baby Hall's Story: Meeting Our Social Worker

This week, I've been sharing how we were pursuing adoption before we found out we were expecting. Even though the adoption is on pause, I want to share our experience with you.

This was written around November of last year: 

I was so excited when we received a call from our social worker to schedule our first meeting. Due to Lee's busy new work schedule and the fact that we don't want any delays on our end, I took off on a Monday morning for the meeting.

We got there and met our social worker and began by her asking us a few basic questions. Then, she started going through some paperwork, such as certain laws and procedures regarding adoption, that we had to sign.

For the last half of the meeting, she started telling us all the things we'd need to do to get to the point where we can adopt: background checks, child abuse checks, driving record checks, fingerprints, physicals, references, 30 hours of classes, home study, profile book, and on and on. I admit it was both overwhelming and surreal. I have been following adoption blogs and reading about adoption for several years now. I knew all of this, but this wasn't someone else's adoption-it's MINE.

We are trying to be as open as possible to the child(ren) we would consider. This is for 2 reason: It makes the process easier and quicker and we want to be open to the child(ren) God would have for our family. So, we are open to a sibling group of up to 2 children (only because that's the maximum number of children we have room for). We found out that in order to be approved for 2 children, we have to have a room set up complete with beds for 2 children. So, I'll be trying to figure out how to create an inexpensive, gender neutral room.

To be continued...

Baby Hall's Story: Adoption Application Approved

Yesterday, I shared how we were pursuing adoption before we found out we were expecting. I still want to share these experiences with you.

This was written around November of last year:

Last time, I shared how we came to make the decision to start an adoption as well as where we started. When we left off, I had sent in our application and other paperwork and we were just waiting to hear back.

The first Saturday in November (about a week and a half after sending in the paperwork), I checked our mail and we had something from the Children's Home Society.

It was a letter telling us the name of our Program Specialist. It said that we would be contacted soon and that in the meantime, we could get together some more paperwork. We needed to fill out another form. This one giving permission for a background check to be ran (costing $40). Because we've lived in NC less than 5 years, we also have to get one from our previous states of residence (Alabama for me, Florida for him). We also needed to get a certified copy of our marriage license.

I was so excited (first of all that we hadn't been rejected and second of all because we were moving forward). Of course, I sat down right away to start on the paperwork. However, since it was Saturday, I couldn't do much about the other state's background checks and the marriage license.

During the week, I made a few calls to find out how to obtain a certified marriage license (very simply by sending a SAS envelope and a $3 money order). When Lee was off, he picked up the money orders we needed to get our background check and marriage license. As soon as we had those, I mailed off for our NC background check and marriage license.

In the middle of November, we received a call from our social worker wanting to set up our initial meeting. We set up a meeting with her for the following Monday. That same week, our marriage license came in the mail. We were going to wait and find out from our social worker how to apply for background checks from other states.

During this time, I also attending an adoption support group meeting with Mercy for America's Children.

To be continued...

Baby Hall's Story: Adoption Information Session

So, yesterday I shared our exciting news with the blog world. I am officially through my first trimester.

This is why I just kind of disappeared from the blogging world. I think this is because of the extreme exhaustion that comes with the first trimester, but I became very apathetic at the beginning of my pregnancy. I didn't care about blogging. I didn't care about reading. I didn't care about cleaning. I didn't care about doing anything creative. I just wanted to sit on the couch and watch TV. Now that I'm through the first trimester, I'm not as tired and I feel a little more like myself. 

In order to share Baby Hall's story, I have to back up and tell you where we were at almost a year ago. Lee and I had decided to pursue adoption. Our family and close friends knew and I had planned to share with the blogging world in March. So throughout the process, I wrote some blog drafts so that I would remember the process and be able to share it. Even though our adoption process is on pause (for now), I would still like to share our experience. 

This was written around October of last year:

We decided to officially begin pursuing adoption at the end of the summer. I began to do some research and had planned to do more while I was tracked out in September, but some unforeseen circumstances prevented me from doing too much.

I have read a lot of adoption blogs, done a lot of research on adoption, and I feel like I know a good bit about adoption. However, I didn't know where to START. I actually got a little overwhelmed just trying to figure out where to begin. So, I did what you have to do in situations like this-I asked for help. There happened to be a teacher's assistant at the school where I work who was in the adoption process until she got pregnant. She lead me to Mercy for America's Children which was actually an organization I had already heard of and was already following on Facebook. I'm so glad she reminded me of this organization. It is amazing!

I stalked their website and Facebook page for a while and then decided to use their contact page to let them know we were interested in starting an adoption. Pam Taylor, founder of MAC, messaged me back shortly after I sent my message. She let me know that there were a couple of information sessions coming up. One of them happened to be a day that Lee was off, so I told her to sign us up for that one.

I was excited because we were actually starting the process. The day finally came and we headed off to the meeting. Pam and her husband walked us through some hard statistics about the state of foster children in America. They also gave us information about the different types of adoption: international, private domestic, domestic through foster care. She shared how her organization has support groups for both parents and children. I think this was my favorite part. It's scary to think of adopting because that's not the "normal" way peoples start a family. I love the idea that that support is there to let you know you're not alone. We really liked what we learned at the information session and I felt my heart stirring towards foster care adoption which is not previously what I'd planned on pursuing.

On our way home, Lee and I discussed our thoughts. We shared our desires and our fears. We also decided together that we were ready to pursue this. We were going to begin an adoption with the Children's Home Society of North Carolina using Mercy for America's Children as a support system.

I got busy within a few days filling out the application. It was just basic information you'd see on any other application. We also had to fill out a brief medical survey and a form that allows them to check with social services to make sure we've never been accused of abusing a child. Within a week, our first set of paperwork was in the mail.

Then, it was the start of the hard part...the waiting. In the back of my mind, I was nervous that we would be rejected. I knew we had no reason to be rejected, but I was worried anyway. I tried to just push those thoughts out of my mind and go on with our lives as normal.

To be continued...