Thoughts on Duggar Baby, Pregnancy, Social Media, Privacy, and other Randoms

I don't watch 19 Kids and Counting, but of course I know who the Duggars are. I've seen a couple of episodes of the show. If there's an article about them in a magazine, I'll read it; and I plan on reading their new book- Growing Up Duggar because it came highly recommended by a fellow blogger and I usually enjoy autobiographies/memoirs.

Over the summer, one of the Duggars got married and a few months later announced she is pregnant. Earlier this week, I came across this article titled She Announced Her Pregnancy Way Before 12 Weeks. Why More Women Should Consider Doing the Same. I had some thoughts about the article, pregnancy, and our plans for our own baby that I'd like to share.

Let me start by saying to each his/her own. I don't believe that there's a "right" way or time to announce that you're pregnant. My issue is with the article being titled "why more women should consider doing the same" and kind of insinuating that if you're pro-life and believe life begins at conception, you should announce you're pregnant earlier than the traditional 12-14 weeks most couples wait. I am VERY thankful that I have never experienced a miscarriage. I have to say that it was definitely a fear of mine and played into our decision on when and with who we shared our news. The minute I saw those 2 lines on the pregnancy test, I believed that I had a living person inside of me. Yes, part of me couldn't wait to tell everyone; but another part of me enjoyed those moments where Lee and I were the only people who knew about this precious new life we'd created. We savored those special moments with each other.

After our pregnancy was confirmed at the doctor's office, we told our parents and siblings. Then, after we had that first big appointment at around 10 weeks, we told our extended family and closest friends. Those are people that we would have wanted to grieve with us if something had happened. I do agree with what the article says about miscarriage not needing to be so taboo. There are several bloggers that I respect a lot who have shared their own stories of miscarriage. The difference is that they shared it months (sometimes years) after. They've had time to grieve and process. I'm glad they shared their story, though, because I believe it can be of help to people who go through the same thing. It can also be good for them to get support from others who've gone through the same thing. To me, there's a difference between sharing about it after the fact versus sharing about it in the moment.

I believe that when you share news of a pregnancy is your personal decision and people make different decisions for different reasons. It's not a reflection of what you believe about when life begins. The problem is that with social media, we now seem to live in a world where people think they're entitled to know people's private business. If you're on social media, you probably have those friends who share their every thought and action.

I've really struggled with the role I want social media to play in my life over the past few years. I see the benefits of it and don't want to get rid of it completely; but sometimes I have to fight the urge to post something on social media. I have to remind myself that a) no one really cares and b) some things need to be kept sacred.

I've had several friends and acquaintances (aka "friends" on Facebook) who've had babies over the past few years. Different people have different approaches. Some people give you a play by play (i.e. I'm at 2 cm. My water just broke. We're heading to the hospital. It's time to push. etc.). Some people let you know they're going to the hospital, then you hear nothing else until after the baby is born. Some people don't say anything about it at all. All this got me thinking about what I want to do when that time comes. I can see the benefit to letting people know you're going to the hospital. It's good to know that people are thinking and praying for you. I also know that people want to know that the baby was born and everything is okay. People also like to see pictures of babies, myself included. I know that as a parent, you must be excited to show off your little bundle of joy.

However, I think back to the days before social media. Every acquaintance didn't know the details of your baby's birth. People could hear through the grapevine that your baby had been born and they'd see it when they saw it. You'd let the people that mattered know. That's the approach I think I want to take. I want to let the people that matter to me know what's going on. I will gladly text or email pictures to family and friends. I think I want to stay off social media for a while after our daughter's birth. I want to savor those first moments as a family of three. I don't want to be distracted with the online world. I don't want to be so focused on posting and updating that I'm missing out on memories.

So, I know this post has been a lot of random thoughts. I just think that sometimes we need to back up and remember that we don't need to know every detail of people's lives as they occur. Similarly, we don't have to share every detail of our lives as they occur. Some things are private and personal and it can be easy to forget that with the overload of information we have coming at us on a daily basis. What and when you share shouldn't be a reflection of anything you believe.

I've shared my random thoughts...now I want to know yours!

What are your thoughts on sharing about a pregnancy really early? What are your thoughts on how much is shared on social media? Do you prefer sharing most details of your life or do you keep some things private?

Dancing with the Stars Week 2 Recap

Happy Wednesday! The week is halfway over! For me, it means I'm back to work.

I see show recap posts often and have never done one because I don't watch that many reality shows. However, I do enjoy watching people dance so Dancing with the Stars is a reality show I've stuck with through the years.

I'm no dancing expert, but I definitely don't mind sharing my thoughts on this show. The past few seasons, they've been trying to make some changes. Since it's still early in the season, I thought I'd share overall pros and cons so far this year as well as something I'd like to see on the show.

**All images via Dancing with the Stars' Facebook page.**

Pros:

 -I'm glad they switched the judges back to their original position. I didn't like them being on the other side last season. It just felt wrong.

-Erin Andrews is the new cohost. No offense to Brooke Burke, she seemed like a perfectly nice person, but she was a terrible cohost. She absolutely could not ad-lib and I found her so awkward. I'm SO HAPPY with this change. I'd been hoping for it for years. I personally think Erin has been doing a great job.

-Last season, they also switched the format to only one show a week. In the past, they'd have the competition night and then the results night. The results night always seemed so unnecessary. They'd fill an hour with random performances and commentary. Now, they've done away with all of that and just eliminate someone at the beginning or end of the competition night.

Cons:

-They keep advertising this new "switch" where viewers can vote to switch the partners. I don't feel like this has been fully explained for one thing. For another thing, I think it's unnecessary. Part of the fun of the show is the relationship that is built between the celebrity and dancer. So, I'm not sure how this is going to work.

-I feel like they're trying to create drama this season. They keep playing up some "rivalry" between Candace Cameron Bure and Danica McKellar, Cody Simpson and James Maslow, and Charlie White and Meryl Davis. To me, this isn't the kind of show that needs drama. I just like to watch them dance.

-My biggest complaint with this show has always been that certain dancers always get certain types of celebrities. I know that certain dancers are more popular so they want them to stay on the show longer, but it's not fair.

My Favorite/Least Favorite Dancers:

-An early favorite of mine is Charlie White. Before DWTS, I had only heard his name, but I don't watch figure skating so knew nothing about him. In my opinion, he has a very natural talent for dancing. I have really enjoyed both of his dances so far. He also seems really sweet.

-I'm also rooting for Candace Cameron Bure. She also has a very natural talent for dancing. I also like that she is a Christian who is not afraid to speak out on her faith. Too often Christians are shown in a bad light on TV.

-I was very surprised that Billy Dee Williams was not eliminated. I understand that he is 77 and I applaud him for getting out there and remembering his dance at his age. However, he is painful to watch and will never be able to keep up with the younger competitors. I hope he goes next and doesn't take the spot of someone else who deserves to be there.

-I was a little upset that Diana Nyad was eliminated. I know she just didn't have the fan base since her claim to fame is swimming from Cuba to Florida and she's not necessarily what we'd consider a celebrity. However, she seemed to have a great personality. I would have liked her to stick around a little longer.

-On the other hand, it didn't bother me that Sean Avery was eliminated. He was very forgettable. For me, this show is about more than dancing ability. It's also about the personality and entertainment value and he had neither.

What I'd Like to See on the Show:

-As I mentioned, I don't think the pairing is always fair. I would love to see the stars paired randomly and live on TV. I wish they'd have all the celebrities and all the dancers there. Then, they'd let the celebrities randomly draw the name of their dance partner from a hat. I think that would make for interesting TV.

Do you watch Dancing with the Stars? What are your pros and cons of the season? Who are your favorites and least favorites? Let me know your thoughts.

Dear Pregnant Kim

Dear Kim,

I must admit, I love a good reality show. When I want mindless entertainment, I always know I can find a reality show that will do the trick. I don't know what it is that always sucks me in. Maybe it's how unrealistic reality TV is. It's almost like an escape from reality. Anyway, I say all that to say that I have indulged in your family's show quite a bit.

 

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This letter isn't to discuss reality TV or your family's show, though. I wanted to let you know that I don't think it's fair how the media is comparing you to Kate Middleton. You have two totally different body types. As I've begun to have friends and people I'm closer to becoming pregnant, I noticed something. People who are naturally skinny get a little bump that slowly grows into a larger bump. They're the people who look "cute" while pregnant. They can be 9 months pregnant and simply look like they're carrying a basketball under their shirt. This would be a person like Kate. On the other hand, people who are naturally curvy tend to simply look like they're getting fat when they're pregnant. It's not fair. I know that if I'm ever pregnant, I will fall into this category. People's bodies are different and when you're pregnant, you're going to gain weight.

 

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The biggest problem, though, is that you're not dressing well for your pregnant body. I'm not a fashion expert, but I cringe at your outfit choices when I see them in magazines or on the internet. I'm sure that if you were to make better outfit choices, the media wouldn't have as much to talk about. The biggest problem to me is that your clothes fit too tightly which accentuates your fuller figure.

As we all know, life is not fair. It's not fair to have people criticize your looks when I'm sure your hormones are on overdrive as it is. We all know you're not getting fat, you're pregnant. With the money to pay personal trainers and nutrition experts, I'm sure you'll drop the baby weight in no time. So, be thankful for that because "normal" people don't get that luxury.

I could go on about how it's ridiculous the amount of money you're spending on your clothes or the fact that you picked Kanye West to have a baby with, but I'll save that for another time. Best of luck to you and your baby.

Sincerely,               

Megan                  

This post may seem really random, but it's something that's gets on my mind every time I go into a store and see a magazine cover because you can guarantee Kim Kardashian or Kate Middleton will be on the cover. It has just bothered me that the media wants to compare these two women. I know that I don't know them and we all probably think they're just wealthy and out of touch with reality, but they're people too.

If people are going to be so critical of Kim's pregnancy weight, what does that say to you and me? I know I'm not at a weight I'm happy with, but I try to keep a positive self image. We don't really need the media calling pregnant women (or any woman for that matter) fat. 

Also, I just had to comment on her outfit choices. I think they're terrible....

I'd love to know your thoughts on any of this....Kate vs. Kim, pregnancy, media's obsession with calling people fat, Kim's pregnancy wardrobe....any of it....