Thoughts on Duggar Baby, Pregnancy, Social Media, Privacy, and other Randoms

I don't watch 19 Kids and Counting, but of course I know who the Duggars are. I've seen a couple of episodes of the show. If there's an article about them in a magazine, I'll read it; and I plan on reading their new book- Growing Up Duggar because it came highly recommended by a fellow blogger and I usually enjoy autobiographies/memoirs.

Over the summer, one of the Duggars got married and a few months later announced she is pregnant. Earlier this week, I came across this article titled She Announced Her Pregnancy Way Before 12 Weeks. Why More Women Should Consider Doing the Same. I had some thoughts about the article, pregnancy, and our plans for our own baby that I'd like to share.

Let me start by saying to each his/her own. I don't believe that there's a "right" way or time to announce that you're pregnant. My issue is with the article being titled "why more women should consider doing the same" and kind of insinuating that if you're pro-life and believe life begins at conception, you should announce you're pregnant earlier than the traditional 12-14 weeks most couples wait. I am VERY thankful that I have never experienced a miscarriage. I have to say that it was definitely a fear of mine and played into our decision on when and with who we shared our news. The minute I saw those 2 lines on the pregnancy test, I believed that I had a living person inside of me. Yes, part of me couldn't wait to tell everyone; but another part of me enjoyed those moments where Lee and I were the only people who knew about this precious new life we'd created. We savored those special moments with each other.

After our pregnancy was confirmed at the doctor's office, we told our parents and siblings. Then, after we had that first big appointment at around 10 weeks, we told our extended family and closest friends. Those are people that we would have wanted to grieve with us if something had happened. I do agree with what the article says about miscarriage not needing to be so taboo. There are several bloggers that I respect a lot who have shared their own stories of miscarriage. The difference is that they shared it months (sometimes years) after. They've had time to grieve and process. I'm glad they shared their story, though, because I believe it can be of help to people who go through the same thing. It can also be good for them to get support from others who've gone through the same thing. To me, there's a difference between sharing about it after the fact versus sharing about it in the moment.

I believe that when you share news of a pregnancy is your personal decision and people make different decisions for different reasons. It's not a reflection of what you believe about when life begins. The problem is that with social media, we now seem to live in a world where people think they're entitled to know people's private business. If you're on social media, you probably have those friends who share their every thought and action.

I've really struggled with the role I want social media to play in my life over the past few years. I see the benefits of it and don't want to get rid of it completely; but sometimes I have to fight the urge to post something on social media. I have to remind myself that a) no one really cares and b) some things need to be kept sacred.

I've had several friends and acquaintances (aka "friends" on Facebook) who've had babies over the past few years. Different people have different approaches. Some people give you a play by play (i.e. I'm at 2 cm. My water just broke. We're heading to the hospital. It's time to push. etc.). Some people let you know they're going to the hospital, then you hear nothing else until after the baby is born. Some people don't say anything about it at all. All this got me thinking about what I want to do when that time comes. I can see the benefit to letting people know you're going to the hospital. It's good to know that people are thinking and praying for you. I also know that people want to know that the baby was born and everything is okay. People also like to see pictures of babies, myself included. I know that as a parent, you must be excited to show off your little bundle of joy.

However, I think back to the days before social media. Every acquaintance didn't know the details of your baby's birth. People could hear through the grapevine that your baby had been born and they'd see it when they saw it. You'd let the people that mattered know. That's the approach I think I want to take. I want to let the people that matter to me know what's going on. I will gladly text or email pictures to family and friends. I think I want to stay off social media for a while after our daughter's birth. I want to savor those first moments as a family of three. I don't want to be distracted with the online world. I don't want to be so focused on posting and updating that I'm missing out on memories.

So, I know this post has been a lot of random thoughts. I just think that sometimes we need to back up and remember that we don't need to know every detail of people's lives as they occur. Similarly, we don't have to share every detail of our lives as they occur. Some things are private and personal and it can be easy to forget that with the overload of information we have coming at us on a daily basis. What and when you share shouldn't be a reflection of anything you believe.

I've shared my random thoughts...now I want to know yours!

What are your thoughts on sharing about a pregnancy really early? What are your thoughts on how much is shared on social media? Do you prefer sharing most details of your life or do you keep some things private?