Thoughts on Duggar Baby, Pregnancy, Social Media, Privacy, and other Randoms

I don't watch 19 Kids and Counting, but of course I know who the Duggars are. I've seen a couple of episodes of the show. If there's an article about them in a magazine, I'll read it; and I plan on reading their new book- Growing Up Duggar because it came highly recommended by a fellow blogger and I usually enjoy autobiographies/memoirs.

Over the summer, one of the Duggars got married and a few months later announced she is pregnant. Earlier this week, I came across this article titled She Announced Her Pregnancy Way Before 12 Weeks. Why More Women Should Consider Doing the Same. I had some thoughts about the article, pregnancy, and our plans for our own baby that I'd like to share.

Let me start by saying to each his/her own. I don't believe that there's a "right" way or time to announce that you're pregnant. My issue is with the article being titled "why more women should consider doing the same" and kind of insinuating that if you're pro-life and believe life begins at conception, you should announce you're pregnant earlier than the traditional 12-14 weeks most couples wait. I am VERY thankful that I have never experienced a miscarriage. I have to say that it was definitely a fear of mine and played into our decision on when and with who we shared our news. The minute I saw those 2 lines on the pregnancy test, I believed that I had a living person inside of me. Yes, part of me couldn't wait to tell everyone; but another part of me enjoyed those moments where Lee and I were the only people who knew about this precious new life we'd created. We savored those special moments with each other.

After our pregnancy was confirmed at the doctor's office, we told our parents and siblings. Then, after we had that first big appointment at around 10 weeks, we told our extended family and closest friends. Those are people that we would have wanted to grieve with us if something had happened. I do agree with what the article says about miscarriage not needing to be so taboo. There are several bloggers that I respect a lot who have shared their own stories of miscarriage. The difference is that they shared it months (sometimes years) after. They've had time to grieve and process. I'm glad they shared their story, though, because I believe it can be of help to people who go through the same thing. It can also be good for them to get support from others who've gone through the same thing. To me, there's a difference between sharing about it after the fact versus sharing about it in the moment.

I believe that when you share news of a pregnancy is your personal decision and people make different decisions for different reasons. It's not a reflection of what you believe about when life begins. The problem is that with social media, we now seem to live in a world where people think they're entitled to know people's private business. If you're on social media, you probably have those friends who share their every thought and action.

I've really struggled with the role I want social media to play in my life over the past few years. I see the benefits of it and don't want to get rid of it completely; but sometimes I have to fight the urge to post something on social media. I have to remind myself that a) no one really cares and b) some things need to be kept sacred.

I've had several friends and acquaintances (aka "friends" on Facebook) who've had babies over the past few years. Different people have different approaches. Some people give you a play by play (i.e. I'm at 2 cm. My water just broke. We're heading to the hospital. It's time to push. etc.). Some people let you know they're going to the hospital, then you hear nothing else until after the baby is born. Some people don't say anything about it at all. All this got me thinking about what I want to do when that time comes. I can see the benefit to letting people know you're going to the hospital. It's good to know that people are thinking and praying for you. I also know that people want to know that the baby was born and everything is okay. People also like to see pictures of babies, myself included. I know that as a parent, you must be excited to show off your little bundle of joy.

However, I think back to the days before social media. Every acquaintance didn't know the details of your baby's birth. People could hear through the grapevine that your baby had been born and they'd see it when they saw it. You'd let the people that mattered know. That's the approach I think I want to take. I want to let the people that matter to me know what's going on. I will gladly text or email pictures to family and friends. I think I want to stay off social media for a while after our daughter's birth. I want to savor those first moments as a family of three. I don't want to be distracted with the online world. I don't want to be so focused on posting and updating that I'm missing out on memories.

So, I know this post has been a lot of random thoughts. I just think that sometimes we need to back up and remember that we don't need to know every detail of people's lives as they occur. Similarly, we don't have to share every detail of our lives as they occur. Some things are private and personal and it can be easy to forget that with the overload of information we have coming at us on a daily basis. What and when you share shouldn't be a reflection of anything you believe.

I've shared my random thoughts...now I want to know yours!

What are your thoughts on sharing about a pregnancy really early? What are your thoughts on how much is shared on social media? Do you prefer sharing most details of your life or do you keep some things private?

My Top Ten Glee Songs

When Glee first came out, I loved it. It made me laugh and I love music so this show was so much fun to me. I have great memories of watching this show weekly with my roommates. During our breaks from college, me and my friends had "Glee nights" where we worked through watching the entire first season.

Many times, they would sing a song and I'd immediately be on itunes trying to buy it. In my opinion, the show slowly went downhill after season 1. They forgot that they were a comedy and tried to be a drama hitting on any major issue they could think of. However, I couldn't make myself stop watching. I still enjoyed the musical aspect of it. Maybe it's because I wish I could sing and dance like that. Maybe it's also because I secretly wish we could burst out in song in real life.

With the recent passing of Glee star Cory Monteith, I've been listening to my Glee music and it had me thinking about my favorite song moments. Today, I'd like to count down my top 10 favorite songs from Glee.

10. Like a Virgin
Starting off my countdown is this song from their Madonna episode. So, this scene is about...well...losing your virginity, but what makes me like this song is the way it's done. It's so well directed. I love how it flows from one couple to the other. (FYI: This video isn't good quality and I don't know what's said at the beginning, but the song is in English.)

9. Like a Prayer
Another Madonna hit continues my countdown. I love belting out this song along with the cast. Then, when the choir joins in-heavenly.

8. Toxic
This was from their Britney Spears' episode which made me laugh a lot. It was a prime example of the absolute silliness that made me enjoy Glee. This song was a surprise at the end with the glee club being joined by Mr. Schuester whose voice is perfect for this song in my opinion. 

7. Take a Bow
This was the episode where I became very jealous of Lea Michele's talent. She really portrays the emotions of the moment during this song. This song takes place after Finn and Rachel kiss, but then he goes back to Quinn.

6. Fly/I Believe I Can Fly
Mash ups are so much fun. This is my favorite. They blend the two songs perfectly. Plus hearing "I Believe I Can Fly" takes me down memory lane to when that song first came out. This was one of those rare moments in the later seasons where we got to catch a glimpse of the Glee we fell in love with.

5. Don't Stop Believing
I don't think you could count down Glee songs without including this one. This is THE song from Glee. I love this glee club version. It's fun to sing along to. In honor and memory of Cory/Finn, I'm posting the version of the song that Rachel sang for her audition in the last season. I thought this was genius. It made me tear up then and it makes me tear up even more now.

4. Smooth Criminal
This song was on their Michael Jackson tribute episode. I'm pretty sure I hit the rewind button and watched this again right away. The vocals are great and the tension is felt, but the true stars of this song are the cello players.

3. Against All Odds
There weren't really any songs from this past season that stuck out to me except this one. I think Darren is an amazing singer and he's playing the piano-bonus!

2. My Life Would Suck Without You
Near the top of my list of all time favorites from Glee is this moment. This song represents all the things I loved about this show. This song was at the end of the winter finale before the show went on its halfway break. They are doing all the different dance moves from various songs they have already sang. It's like reminiscing on all the fun moments from previous episodes. Then, in the end, when Mr. Schuester is running after Emma...I remember being so excited for that moment.

1.  Keep Holding On
This song is without a doubt my favorite Glee moment. This song came after the news broke to the school that Quinn was pregnant after Rachel had tried to keep word from getting out. The song is perfect and the actors do a great job showing the emotion of the moment.

There were plenty of other great music moments and I had a hard time narrowing it down to just 10.

What are your thoughts on the future of Glee? Do you have a favorite song from the show?

Dear Pregnant Kim

Dear Kim,

I must admit, I love a good reality show. When I want mindless entertainment, I always know I can find a reality show that will do the trick. I don't know what it is that always sucks me in. Maybe it's how unrealistic reality TV is. It's almost like an escape from reality. Anyway, I say all that to say that I have indulged in your family's show quite a bit.

 

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This letter isn't to discuss reality TV or your family's show, though. I wanted to let you know that I don't think it's fair how the media is comparing you to Kate Middleton. You have two totally different body types. As I've begun to have friends and people I'm closer to becoming pregnant, I noticed something. People who are naturally skinny get a little bump that slowly grows into a larger bump. They're the people who look "cute" while pregnant. They can be 9 months pregnant and simply look like they're carrying a basketball under their shirt. This would be a person like Kate. On the other hand, people who are naturally curvy tend to simply look like they're getting fat when they're pregnant. It's not fair. I know that if I'm ever pregnant, I will fall into this category. People's bodies are different and when you're pregnant, you're going to gain weight.

 

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The biggest problem, though, is that you're not dressing well for your pregnant body. I'm not a fashion expert, but I cringe at your outfit choices when I see them in magazines or on the internet. I'm sure that if you were to make better outfit choices, the media wouldn't have as much to talk about. The biggest problem to me is that your clothes fit too tightly which accentuates your fuller figure.

As we all know, life is not fair. It's not fair to have people criticize your looks when I'm sure your hormones are on overdrive as it is. We all know you're not getting fat, you're pregnant. With the money to pay personal trainers and nutrition experts, I'm sure you'll drop the baby weight in no time. So, be thankful for that because "normal" people don't get that luxury.

I could go on about how it's ridiculous the amount of money you're spending on your clothes or the fact that you picked Kanye West to have a baby with, but I'll save that for another time. Best of luck to you and your baby.

Sincerely,               

Megan                  

This post may seem really random, but it's something that's gets on my mind every time I go into a store and see a magazine cover because you can guarantee Kim Kardashian or Kate Middleton will be on the cover. It has just bothered me that the media wants to compare these two women. I know that I don't know them and we all probably think they're just wealthy and out of touch with reality, but they're people too.

If people are going to be so critical of Kim's pregnancy weight, what does that say to you and me? I know I'm not at a weight I'm happy with, but I try to keep a positive self image. We don't really need the media calling pregnant women (or any woman for that matter) fat. 

Also, I just had to comment on her outfit choices. I think they're terrible....

I'd love to know your thoughts on any of this....Kate vs. Kim, pregnancy, media's obsession with calling people fat, Kim's pregnancy wardrobe....any of it....