Tales from the Emergency Room

 

I originally was going to write a different blog, but the events of my day changed my mind. That original blog will have to wait for another time.

For those of you who don’t know, Lee has a history of severe stomach pains and other stomach related issues. When we were dating, he would have a severe episode about once a year. These episodes would put him in the hospital until his pain could be managed. Last April began a new trend. He had an episode about every month. The climax of last year occurred at the end of October. We went to the emergency room 3 times in a 48 hour period. After that weekend, we added anxiety to our list of medical problems. For about 2 months, Lee did not go to school or work. He was not himself. This all culminated with 2 hospital stays within 10 days of each other in early December. This resulted in us vowing to never use Wake Med hospitals again. I will not go into all the details of our troubles with them.

After his last hospital stay in December, it was like someone flipped a switch. Lee went back to his normal self. He began seeing a few doctors to continue to try and monitor the problem. Up until a few days ago, he had no stomach problems.

However, a few days ago, Lee began to complain with his stomach hurting. This happened day after day so I knew it was just a matter of time before we ended up back in the ER.

Sure enough, I heard Lee getting out of bed a little after midnight and I asked him what he was doing. He said his stomach hurt but not to worry. I fell back asleep, but was awoken again a little after 1:00. He kept saying it didn’t hurt that bad. He just couldn’t sleep. After that, I couldn’t sleep either. Lee was up and down all night and did not sleep at all-and neither did I. At about 3:00, I began to think about what we were going to have to do. Would we end up in the hospital? Probably. At about 4:00, I was tired of tossing and turning in bed, so I got up. I told Lee that I would write a sub plan, take it to school, and then take him to the hospital. So, that is where I currently am….writing this blog.

Now that the background is there, let me get to the point of this blog. These medical issues are hard on us. They are hard on us physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially. They’re hard on our marriage. I spent 2 and a half months with a husband who did not want to leave the house. This is not exactly what you have in mind when you plan on spending your happily ever after with someone. Unfortunately, this is reality. When you marry someone you promise ‘for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.’ Marriage is not all lovey-dovey happy feelings. There were times at the end of last year that I wanted nothing more than for us to pack up and go back to Headland. I was so tired of dealing with my job and Lee’s sickness. I was exhausted and thought it would never end. So, I want to warn those of you planning to get married or thinking about marriage-if all you have are “feelings” for someone, you better rethink things before it’s too late. You are not guaranteed that nothing bad will ever happen in your marriage or that bad things will only happen when you’re older and have been married longer.

The moments when I feel most loved by Lee are not when he’s saying sweet things or doing something romantic for me. It’s when he does something for me that is not natural for him. It’s when he chooses to live out his love for me. It’s when he makes the bed even when he thinks it’s stupid and pointless. It’s when he starts browning the meat for our supper because he knows I’m coming home tired and possibly ill. It’s when we sit down every night at our table for dinner with nothing but our food and our conversations even though he has a lot of schoolwork that he needs to be doing. It’s when he picks up his stuff and puts it away because he knows it’s important to me.

On a side note if you’re married, engaged, talking about getting married, dating with a purpose, etc. and have never gone through the 5 Love Languages study, I would encourage you to do so.

Lee and I have also recently had a lot of discussions about how Christians should handle things when life doesn’t go your way or bad things happen to you. Some of you reading this have gone through far worse things than what we are dealing with, but for us Lee’s health and continual hospital visits is our “bad thing.” It is so easy for us to get angry. It is so easy for us to question God. Why does He let this continue to happen to us? I know He has the power to heal Lee, why won’t He? Why can’t He give a doctor the wisdom to know what’s wrong with Lee? All of these and more are questions that run through my mind. I can’t let these questions overtake me and overwhelm me. I know that God is in control and He works all things together for His good. I also know that good has come from this. I believe these experiences have made me a stronger person. I had to be more independent and I learned my way around Raleigh better when Lee was in the hospital so much. I am a lot more confident with driving around Raleigh than I was a year ago. I believe it has also made our marriage stronger. We have dealt with some dark times that most couples do not experience within their first 2 years of marriage and we have come out on the other side.

I’m going to leave you with some scripture and my thoughts on them. These are some of the scriptures that get me through these hard times.

Many of you are familiar with the story of Job and you know how Job was a very wealthy man that lost it all, but never sinned against God. In Job 1:9, God and Satan are discussing Job. Satan says in this verse, “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.” Satan was not right about Job, but he is right on target about so many Christians. We love God when things are going our way, but we sin against Him and curse Him when things go bad. Adversity destroys superficial faith. Adversity strengthens real faith. After Job lost everything, he says in verse 21, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”

Another story you may be familiar with is the story of David and Bathsheba. David and Bathsheba were both married, but committed adultery. Then, when Bathsheba became pregnant, David tried to cover up his sin by sending Bathsheba’s husband to her. Her husband refused because they were at war. So, then David put her husband on the front lines so that he would die. Bathsheba bore David’s son, but the child was very sick. David prayed, fasted, and cried out to God to heal the child. The child died and after David finds this out 2 Samuel 12: 20 tells us, “Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped.” Wow! How many of us worship after something terrible happens to us. This is not a normal reaction-David knew the Lord.

Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” God’s peace is different from the world’s peace. God’s peace doesn’t mean that everything is going good and there’s no conflict. God’s peace is knowing that God is in control.

Philippians 4:12-13 “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” I think Philippians 4:13 is one of the most misquoted verses. I won’t really get into that, but if you read the verse before it you see that Paul is saying that with God’s help and through God’s strength, we are able to be CONTENT no matter what is going on in our life.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” and Colossians 1:17 “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” God is in control of our life. He works EVERYTHING in our life together for HIS purpose, not ours.

Okay, because you took the time to read my long and serious blog-here’s a funny story to end with. Shortly after the nurse came in and gave Lee his medicine, I was asking him how he was feeling. Then, I was telling him that I was going to probably step out once he falls asleep. He said, “You can go on out and meet those famous people.” I said, “What famous people?” He said, “Those famous people from North Carolina history.” It looks like I’ve been talking about my social studies lessons and my students’ North Carolina scrapbooks too much.

Linking up here.