Over the past week, I have seen this list titled “Turning 30: 30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know” being linked and referred to on numerous sites. As a Christian, this list really bothered me. Therefore, I am writing a 3-part blog on this topic.
Now, before I begin let me preface by saying that I know that it is just a silly list in a magazine (and now a book). I know that it is not a major issue and it’s not about to be signed over into law. I have read several of the comments on the list’s original site and I have seen where people have said “what’s the big deal?”. To me, however, it is a big deal because this list reflects the beliefs of so many people in our culture.
You can view the original post here. I am also copying part of the list below and adding my comments in red.
By 30, you should have ...
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come. Do I even need to comment on this? Why would you want a boyfriend you can imagine going back to? If he’s no longer your boyfriend then there’s a reason for that. This is especially problematic if you’re married. As a wife, I should not be thinking back on past boyfriends and thinking that I could still be with one of them. The only man I should see myself with is my husband or for some people, their future husband.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family. Is there something wrong with owning things second hand? Does that make you less of a person? Someone else originally owned every piece of furniture in our home and we live with ourselves just fine. We don’t just live this way because we’ve just started out. We intend to continue to look for nice, gently used furniture when we need new things. It’s more cost efficient and frees up our money to be used for something else. There’s nothing wrong with buying new things, but it’s not the only way.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour. Is this meant for your intentions with your employer to be honorable? My closet if full of nice outfits that my employer can see me in because I wear them daily to work. As for the man of your dreams, if he’s the one for you…he better be okay seeing you in pajama pants and a bear sweatshirt (this is Lee’s favorite outfit to see me in…lol). Otherwise, you shouldn’t be dressing in a certain way to get certain attention from a man. Your body should not be used as a tool to get something.
4. A purse, a suitcase, and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying. Do people judge you based on what kind of umbrella you have? If people are so shallow as to care what kind of purse, suitcase, or umbrella you’re carrying, then let them think what they want. I’m not saying that you should not care how you present yourself, but these little things don’t define you.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond. I personally began moving past my “youth” when I graduated from college and got out in the real world. I don’t think you should wait until you’re 30 to “grow up.”
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age. If I have anything “juicy” in my past, it is not something I will be proudly sharing with future generations. None of us are perfect, but I don’t think our sins are for flaunting. Once we are saved, that old self is dead. We are a new creation.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age -- and some money set aside to help fund it. This is not bad advice as long as you don’t become obsessed with hoarding away your money for retirement.
8. An email address, a voice mailbox, and a bank account -- all of which nobody has access to but you. Again, I assume much of this list is written under the impression that you will still be single by 30. However, my husband and I have a shared bank account and he also has my email address and voicemail passwords. We are one and I have nothing to hide from him. In the same way, I have access to his stuff as well. If you’re single, this applies to you differently and I guess it's encouraging you to become independent from your parents.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded. …because that’s lying.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry. This is not bad advice either.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra. I assume that last one is thrown in there saying that you need to own something “sexy.” There’s nothing wrong with this as long as you have it for the right reasons. If you’re married, then it should be for your husband’s benefit. If you’re not, why are you trying to feel sexy? Remember number 3, your body is not a tool. There is nothing wrong with being confident and having good self-esteem, but that is something different than being sexy.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it. I could write a whole blog on this one and number 13. I have written one that kind of touches on this subject that you can read here. There are starving people all over the world! There are people who can’t afford clothes or a safe place to live! Yet, I somehow think I’m better than them and deserve to spend TONS of money on ONE silly thing. That same amount of money could be put towards better use and have longer lasting effects if I gave it to help someone else instead.
13. The belief that you deserve it. I think that the point of this one is having confidence in yourself, but I don’t like the way they said it. We don’t deserve anything. We’re sinful, disgraceful people. God gives us grace and mercy. With this logic, are you telling me that people who physically can’t have children don’t deserve children? Are you telling me that the starving people all over the world don’t deserve food? Are you telling me that the woman getting abused by her husband doesn’t deserve a loving, nonabusive husband? I’m telling you…I could go on and on. These two really get under my skin.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine, and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30. This is more advice that in and of itself is not bad. As long as these things don’t become idols in your life and you don’t become obsessed with your looks.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship, and all those other facets of life that do get better. These things are good, but they don’t define you. You should define yourself by God’s standards, not the world’s.
To me, this list reflects a shallow and materialistic viewpoint. I’m not saying that these things are bad and you’re a bad person if you’ve done any of these things. We simply have to check our mindset. What is important to us?
“Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things.” –Colossians 3:2
*This post is solely my opinion based on my convictions which are based on my current relationship with God. I can respect your opinion if it is different from mine as long as you are respectful to me.*
1 comment:
A juicy past?? Yikes!!
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