Last Monday, I posted Part 1 on this topic. If you have not read Part 1, you can go back and read it here. I was very surprised with the positive responses I received and I want to thank you for reading my posts and making Part 1 of this my 2nd most popular blog post this year.
The first part of this list covers 15 things you should have by the time you’re 30. My biggest problem was with the first half of this list. It was all very selfish and materialistic. It held to our culture’s view that it’s all about me and if it makes me happy, then it must be okay. The second half of the list isn’t as bad and some of the advice is pretty good.
You can see the original post about this list here. As before, I am copying part of the list and adding my thoughts in red.
By 30, you should know ...
1. How to fall in love without losing yourself. This is not bad advice. I hope you learn this before you’re 30, though. If not, you will probably experience a lot of heartbreak. It is important to always stay true to yourself. So often in marriages you hear things like “my husband completes me” or “she’s my other half” indicating that you are not a whole person by yourself. I understand where these sayings come from. In my own life, Lee is strong in areas where I am weak and vice versa. However, I believe that you are your own complete person with or without a spouse. If one were only complete when married, what does that say for single people or for people whose spouses are deceased?
2. How you feel about having kids. Again, not bad advice, but you may want to figure this out before you’re 30. I may cover this one more next week.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. More advice that needs to be known before you’re 30. It is valuable to know the correct way to quit and job. It is also valuable to know how to deal with hard issues in a friendship without ruining it. Breaking up with a man, though, isn’t really a life skill I’d want to strive to perfect. Hopefully, you won’t date too many guys to need this skill. Dating shouldn’t be recreation. Dating relationships are entered into way too casually.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away. Not bad advice.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next. Terrible advice. If you’re not married-nothing should happen next! I won’t get into whether or not you should be kissing. I personally believe that’s a conviction you have to determine on your own. That is a “gray area” of life and different people have different thoughts on it.
6. The names of the secretary of state, your great-grandmothers, and the best tailor in town. This is random. I guess it is important to be informed on who the major political people are at the time. Therefore, you don’t look silly if this comes up in conversation. Also, I guess it’s saying you should know your family history. As for the best tailor in town…I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford to have all of my clothes custom fitted for me. While this is a nice idea that they always shared on TLC’s What Not to Wear, it’s not practical for most people.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to. Why? I personally never had a desire to live alone. I’m kind of a scaredy-cat. If I hadn’t gotten married after college, I would have wanted to find a friend to live with. I guess this is pointing you towards independence, but I see nothing wrong with having a roommate. Plus…it’s someone to split the bills with!
8. Where to go -- be it your best friend’s kitchen table or a yoga mat -- when your soul needs soothing. How about God?! That’s the best place to find rest for your soul. Crack open the Bible or spend some time in prayer. There’s nothing wrong with nice, long talks with friends or soothing yoga, but God should be the first place we turn when we’re troubled. I’m saying this to myself as well.
9. That you can’t change the length of your legs, the width of your hips, or the nature of your parents. Amen! Hopefully again, you learn to accept this before you’re 30. I believe this is always going to be a battle. We live in a culture that values “perfection.” Remember that God created you the way that you are and He has a purpose and a plan for you.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. Again, childhood ends long before 30. Even though your childhood is over, it shaped who you are and will always be a part of you whether it was good or bad.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love. Here we go with the money thing again. What will I do for money? I will give an honest day’s work at my job. I do that so that I can pay the bills and have food on the table. I am not striving to always be climbing the career ladder. I’m not always striving to make more, more, and more so that I can have more, more, and more. That’s not what life is about and it won’t make you happy. What will I do for love? I will lay down my life. At least that’s what I should be doing. When you love someone, it’s not about you. I wrote a blog on that topic, so you can read it for more thoughts on that.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs, or not flossing for very long. This is more good advice. I love flossing! If you don’t floss, I highly recommend it.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t, and why you shouldn’t take it personally. This is more advice that’s not bad.
14. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault. I’m definitely not one to speak on apologizing because I’m terrible at it. However, if you unintentionally did something to hurt someone, you should still apologize. To some people, apologizing is very important and speaks volumes. If it keeps a relationship intact, it won’t hurt you to humble yourself and apologize.
15. Why they say life begins at 30 Life actually begins at conception. Your whole life is valuable and important. If you wait until you’re 30 to live your life, then you’re missing out. You need to take advantage of each and every day that you’re given because you’re not guaranteed tomorrow. On this note, I will close with two of my favorite quotes that go hand in hand with this last piece of advice.
Tuck Everlasting is a book that was actually written for children. It was later made into a movie. Even though, its original intended audience was children, it has some very mature themes. Basically, it’s about a family that can live forever because they drank some water from a magic spring. A girl meets the family and debates whether or not she should drink some of the water or not. In the movie, they show how hard it is to live forever and watch everyone you love pass away. During one scene, the father is talking to the girl and he tells her "Do not fear death, but rather the unlived life." This quote really stuck out to me and the movie/book really encouraged me to live my life to the fullest.
My favorite movie of all time is Titanic and it contains probably one of my favorite quotes of all time. (For more on my thoughts on Titanic and how it shaped my life philosophy, you can read this post.) During the movie, the male lead character, Jack, is having dinner with the 1st class passengers even though he’s a 3rd class passenger. The female lead character’s mother does not like Jack and asks him a rude question to which he responds in part " I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you... to make each day count."
Life does not begin at 30. Make each day count!
Part 3 of this blog series shares what I think is a better list of things to aim for.
*This post is solely my opinion based on my convictions which are based on my current relationship with God. I can respect your opinion if it is different from mine as long as you are respectful to me.*
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