One Thousand Gifts Book Club Week 1

I am excited to be participating in my first blog book club.  I was a little late coming into this so my book actually arrived yesterday afternoon. We only had to read one chapter, though, so it wasn't a problem. I must admit that my first thoughts while reading the first few pages were What have I gotten myself into?  She describes things in a lot of detail and has a unique way of dragging out an event. I suppose this is done to help you better understand the feelings behind the event. For example, why just say I was born when you can describe it as she did. If you haven't read the book and would like to know what I'm talking about, you can read the first few pages here. I'm not so sure that I like her writing style. It confused me and I often had to go back and reread to understand what she was trying to say.  Well, enough negative...on to the positive. I am still looking forward to going more into this book. I have heard only positive things about it. I know that I need to be challenged to find joy in every day life even when things appear dark. I know in the grand scheme of things, I have not dealt with tragedies that other people have had to deal with, but like all people I've had times of darkness. Times where I felt hopeless. Times where I've questioned God. Times where I've been ungrateful. Most recently, I've been dealing with Lee's health problems. What started out as a stomach issue escalated into a stomach issue plus psychological issues. This is not what is supposed to happen early in a marriage. We're supposed to be living out early wedded bliss not living in and out of hospitals. It makes it even harder to see and hear about all the things your friends are doing. You begin to compare yourself to them. You begin to think why does all this bad stuff happen to me? Why is their life so great? I have battled those feelings for months. I know it's not the right thing to think and do. I know that I don't know everything that is going on with the people I'm comparing myself to. I know that God has brought us to this trial for a reason. I know that He is always in control. But often, the human side of me would win out and I didn't want to think about all the things that I knew from God's word. On a side note, Lee is doing a lot better at this point, but we never know when a stomach pain episode will come on.   That's why certain things in the first chapter really stuck out to me.    Ann retells the story of her brother-in-law preparing for the death of his second child from a terminal genetic illness. Ann basically says that if she were in charge instead of God, she'd let him live. Her statement prompts her brother-in-law to retell the story from the Bible of King Hezekiah who prayed for more years to live. God gave him his request and King Hezekiah had a son who led the Israelites to do a lot of evil. If Hezekiah had died sooner, this son would have never been born. Then, her brother-in-law says "Just that maybe....maybe you don't want to change the story, because you don't know what a different ending holds." How hard must that have been for him to say! He is about to bury his second child. How many of us would have that strong of faith? How many of us have questioned God for smaller things? I know I have. Why do we never stop to think that God is in charge and He knows what's best? Is this easy? NO! Not at all. Another things we forget to do is thank God for what we do have. Too often all we can see is what we don't have. When Lee was going through being sick this last time, I tried to make a conscious effort to thank God for the things we do have. We have food, a place to live, clothes, and health care. That's more than the majority of the world has. We also have salvation, jobs, entertainment, cars, family, and friends. We are so blessed. Ann points out that so many of our sins start as sins of ingratitude. We're not happy with what we have, we want more. "Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other."   When will we learn to let God be enough? Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.   Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,   who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,   who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5